Is something wrong with me?

Lazy mini-blogging in 140 characters...

• 06:30 I think I may quite literally be the only person in the library right now... #
• 12:33 So the first day of school was fine - only had one class today and I put in an application to work at the library. Woo. #
• 15:04 Why isn't the mail hereeeeee...sigh. It's like an hour late =/ #
• 16:20 Oh, Dr. Horrible soundtrack - so awesome! #

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Magnet - Believe

Walking in with open eyes
Fingers crossed, throw the dice
Not enough room in here for compromise
Turning water into wine, or turning sober and left behind
One chance, out of my hands, and it all starts making sense

I'm gonna do this like I know what I'm doing
I'm gonna do this my own way
'Cause I don't know what I'm supposed to believe in
Might as well believe in me
( more )


-and-


Grandaddy - Elevate Myself

I don't wanna work all night and day
On writing songs that make the young girls cry
Or playing little solos on the keyboard
So the kids will ask me how and why

I just wanna, I just wanna
I just wanna elevate myself
I just wanna, I just wanna
I just wanna elevate myself

And maybe for a little
Get to where I find it really hard to hate myself
( more )

i am selling some old books on ebay's half.com...they are pretty cheap. check them out: http://shops.half.ebay.com/emo-seal

applied for vons today. still need to turn in the barnes and noble application i printed out. still need a stupid body gems application.

i've been going through stuff for the past two days. it is not exciting. realized i have obscene amounts of old poetry floating around. i have also realized that no matter how much i sort through stuff and toss out old papers, i have too much crap. i don't know what to do. i have these six big orange tubs and two are empty right now, four are about half way full. stuff all over my floor. one other big blue tub i haven't opened yet and some miscellanious boxes. if i could just get rid of everything BUT those orange tubs, filled, i would feel good. but even that sounds optimistic to me.

i miss joshua. i'm okay, i can function about as well as i ever did, but i miss him. it drives me crazy how goddamn normal everything is even though this hasn't been the norm for two months, but i guess it's less torturous this way. talked to him on the phone a bit today...he's visiting his cousin and calling his old boss sometime tonight to see if he can have his job back. anddd he's going to try to go to a recording studio this weekend to do some singing. pretty cool.

i keep forgetting to eat. yesterday i didn't get dinner til midnight and today i'm lucky i got a bowl of cereal two hours after getting up. need to fucking eat something...

sigh, tomorrow is new year's eve. don't ask me how but it feels like that completely snuck up on me. hayden might come over and apparently there's some block party or some shit on our street so i guess we'll be at that. and here crocheting...he promised to teach me.

okay seriously, food time. bye.

Muppet Christmas Carol

used to watch it everyyyyyy year around Christmas
then I lost the vhs and the tradition got messed up
I have the dvd now but I'm not nearly as insane about HAVING to watch it every year

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knitting

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crocheting

http://www.angelfire.com/ca7/sierratses/knots.html


12-20-08

http://community.livejournal.com/novice_knitters/profile

http://thestormmoon.blogspot.com/2008/03/free-pattern-celtic-cable-neckwarmer.html

...did you guys seriously just fucking call Hannah Montana legendary?

I can't even answer the question now.

edit:

tera melos was legendary.
saw them by complete accident.
sounds stupid but everything about it was just right and amazing and it worked and it made me feel this weird awesome feeling the entire time.


most pete yorn concerts have had a legendary feel to them for me
first one cos it was the first one, second one bad people were around so eh, third one was fantastic and so many people came together to make it that way, plus i got something signed, fourth was great because i got my first picture with him and a compliment from him on a shirt i made, and fifth should have been more epic, but my friend kinda messed up the night after we had watched pete play (he played at this radio station's christmas show with silversun pickups, the shins, and modest mouse and my friend didn't care too much about the shins and hated modest mouse so we didn't really see them play at all...might never forgive him for that).


i have seen the pixies, which i think qualifies as legendary


the ramones was my first concert ever (first of my own at least, i had gone to some that were my parent's idea, but i won the ramones tickets on my own) but i don't remember a damn thing about it


say anything blows my mind


mason jennings and zach gill was a very happy experience


rabbit in the moon was unrepeatable


and i think that seeing something corporate play at knott's soak city for some dumb middle school fundraiser thing before they were anyone, letting kids jump around on the little stage with them and playing the same set over and over all day because it was all they had at the time is something that not too many other people can brag about =)

The Creative Personality
Creative individuals are remarkable for their ability to adapt to almost any situation and to make do with whatever is at hand to reach their goals.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-1095.html&fromMod=emailed

STUFFING.

srsly guys. I try it again every year and I still hate it.

i've been feeling compelled to do this for like a week at least, so what the fuck.


wish list

-a million things off of etsy (currently, there is a hoodie for only $20 that is killing me. there are also some sweet glass plugs)

-6 gauge plugs

-eythan tattoo

-septum piercinggggg. have to pay for completely by myself though. i decided.

-various cds - ben folds comes to mind right now, but god knows there's a billion more

-new zip hoodie - not black

-those goddamn purple corduroys pants...

-a real sewing machine

-yo money

-an alternative to polymer clay

-a bigger bed

-i'm just saying stupid stuff now

-i'm also starting to feel like i have too much crap to be asking for anything new

-still want your money though

-and second ear piercings

-NEW LENSES FOR MY GLASSES!!! <--this is actually a need

-more time =/
i feel like all i do when i come home is try not to think too hard about anything, and by the time i'm all relaxed and ready to do something, it's late or i'm too tired for it. thus, it is hard to keep up with etsy (making stuff and promoting), to think of/make new patches for my jacket, etc.

-more amanda fucking palmer clues

-sigh this has gotten so off track, i was just going to list stupid material bullshit

<3

my life from this day forward shall be dedicated to finding out who killed amanda palmer.

...haha. seriously though. there is this whole crazy web-game-puzzle-thingie going on for it and i am so fucking sucked into it, it's just not even funny. there are crazy creepy emails, websites, voicemails, forums, texts, videos...it is by far the most awesome thing ever to come into existance and it's not so insanely complicated that i feel like i can't play a part in it (like, when nin did that whole year zero thing, way out of my league, didn't even bother).

if you are interested in getting involved, start by emailing thestrangeriswatching@gmail.com - doesn't matter what you say. if you want help, there's a few places you can go...

forum post of the basic facts we know up to now (the cheap, fast way - kinda spoils it):
http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=5527.15

two much longer, much more in-depth looks at what's happening and the order that it happened in:
http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=5120
http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=5258
(personally, i recommend going to these first)

and someone posted this breakdown of the characters so far and their links:
http://community.livejournal.com/dresdendolls/1101808.html

so exciteddd about this...i'm never gonna get my homework done with this going on though...and i think i'm already annoying joshua with having nothing but this to talk about...haha, sigh.

i love amanda palmer.

<3

EDIT: awesome awesome guide here:
http://www.insurreality.net/?tag=wkap
i now suggest starting with this one =)

i have the best fiancé in the wholeeee wideeeee worldddddd

proof:
http://community.livejournal.com/elliottsmith/1221783.html?#cutid1

http://kool108.com/pages/promotions/KaraokeChampionships.html

1) Click that link.

2) Look for Joshua Terwilliger - Ballroom Blitz (it should be somewhere in the right hand column).

3) FUCKING VOTE FOR HIM. Haha...no, seriously though.

4) After you vote, you have to check the email you typed in and CONFIRM your vote.

That's it!

Help my super awesome fiancé win this thing already (he get's money! it would help him move down here! exciting!) ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO MOVE AWAY.
Yeahhhh, take that.

And if you're feeling extra nice, repost this! He needs as many votes as possible...

<3

so i promised to post my final women's studies report, and uh, here i am! yup. i'll post the prompt too so you sorta get where this came from. warning- it's pretty long (had to be five pages) so uh...yup.

Prompt:

"In order to experience and critically reflect upon the strength of gender norms in our society, write a 5-6 page typed essay on a gender transgression that you perform outside of class. Think of an act or behavior that you associate with another gender, do it, and then write a paper about it. Immediately after you perform your act, make notes about your feelings, thoughts, and observations while they are fresh in your mind. I will accept alternative liberating acts that don’t specifically address gender transgression, however you must meet with me personally and it will be decided on a case-by-case basis."

my "transgression"? holding another girl's hand. GASP!

( read me )

Jeremy Messersmith - Love You to Pieces



At the beginning, he dedicates the song to Melissa and Joshua. He means me. And my Joshua. Holy.fucking.shit! Jeremy Messersmith is amazing and I swear he is my new hero. And I fucking love Joshua for making this happen =)

<3!

The Magic Numbers - I See You, You See Me
(key = plain text: male vocalist // italics: female vocalist // underline: both)

I never wanted to love you, but that's okay
I always knew that you'd leave me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me

I asked the boys if they'd let me go out and play
They always said that you'd hurt me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me

And it's alright
I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright
I look to you as my only friend
It's alright
I never thought that I could feel there's something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

I never thought that you wanted for me to stay
So I left you with the girls that came your way
But darling when I see you, I see me

I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Why throw a circle round a man with broken bones
But darling when I see you, I see me

It's alright
I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright
I look to you as my only friend
It's alright
I never thought that I could feel there's something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

You always looked like you had something else on your mind
When I try to tell you, you tell me "nevermind"
But darling when I see you, you see me

I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me

Oooh, oo-oo-oooh...
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think I'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think I'm falling for you

This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think I'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think I'm falling for you

I never thought
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
I never thought
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
I never thought
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
I never thought
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do

I never thought that I could feel there's something
Rising, rising in my veins
And it looks like I feel there's something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

jets to brazil - sweet avenue

tasting you in rain i
walk down to the train -
try not to look down.
this day could some day be
an anniversary -
everything is light and sound.

facing forwards going slowly
wait for you to show me
where this train wants to go.
living by the hour i
stop for every flower -
everything is soft and slow.

now all these tastes improve
through the view that comes with you.
like they handed me my life -
for the first time it felt right.

thank you for making me
see there's a life in me -
it was dying to get out.
holding you we make two spoons
beneath an april moon -
everything is soft and sweet.

this cigarette it could seduce
a nation with its smoke.
crawling down my tired throat
scratches part of me that's purring
softly stirring.

i'm a captain of industry
smoking famously -
feet up on the windowsill.
looking at all these trees i
feel affinity with -
everything so soft and still.

budding at my fingertips
touching you i start to bloom.
alive with trains and passing ships
soft and sweet along your lips now
i go "oh, wow"

thank you for taking me
from my monastery -
i was dying to get out.
with tears of gratitude
i like my latitude -
cross town train to you.

now all these tastes improve
through the view that comes with you.
like they handed me my life -
for the first time it felt worth it
like i deserved it